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Greetings from HZWP

 

Hello! I’m R. Cross and I’m currently in my first semester as an MFA candidate in Fiction at the Helen Zell Writers’ Program at The University of Michigan.

I’ve applied to MFA programs on four separate occasions (in ‘13, ‘14, ‘16, and ‘17) and attended the MFA program at Southern Illinois University for the ‘14 – ‘15 school year until state budget cuts led to a university-wide funding crisis that ended up sending me back to the application gauntlet for two more rounds (NOTE: the funding crisis at SIU has since been resolved with a state budget settlement that will make for stable funding for the program for the foreseeable future; they’ve also recently added MFA fellowships that reduce the teaching load, funded by a private donor to the program).

My experience as an MFA applicant and program attendee is thus long and winding, and covers the span of five years.

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:

I’m from Columbus, Ohio. While it took me eight years of academic meandering, I eventually obtained my BA in English from the Ohio State University in 2013.

I write semi-experimental fiction about non-normative love, generational trauma, “sensitive” children, recovering addicts, and women who are just so fed up. My stories are either forthcoming or have been featured in Day One, Meridian, and Reservoir (those stories account for the three stories I submitted to MFA programs in app seasons ‘16 and ‘17).

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MY APPLICATION SEASONS:

Each year I’ve applied, I’ve received at least some encouragement from programs.

In ‘13, I made the shortlist of finalists at Boston University
In ‘14, I was waitlisted and ultimately accepted at Southern Illinois University.
In ‘16, I was high on the waitlists at John’s Hopkins University and University of Virginia.
In ‘17, I was waitlisted and ultimately accepted at the University of Michigan.

Bear in mind:

In ‘13 I was rejected outright by five programs.
In ‘14 I was rejected outright by twenty programs. (Ouch!)
In ‘16 I was rejected outright by ten programs.
In ‘17 I was rejected outright by nine programs.

Which is to say: I’ve been rejected 89% of the time, waitlisted 11% of the time, got offers from the waitlists I was on 50% of the time, and have been accepted outright 0% of the time, i.e. never, not even once.

Which is also to say: I’ve never been a favorite with admissions committees even though I’ve been deemed waitlist-able or shortlist-able by at least one or two programs each year I’ve applied. In essence, I’m a seasoned MFA applicant who always got at least some things right but apparently more things wrong or simply not right enough. I kept trying, though, as I believed my writing to be worthy of the kind of focus and commitment that comes with funded mentorship and writing time. In the process of putting myself out there (time and time and time and time again), I’ve managed to develop the sort of self respect as a writer that comes with the continued effort and sacrifice of striving for goals that are within reach but that don’t come easily.

Since I’ve gotten to Ann Arbor, I’ve started writing a novel, have finished the draft of a novella, have drafted three new short stories, got a story accepted for a print publication, sat in on a craft workshop led by Ocean Vuong, and met with an agent who is interested in seeing more of my novel in progress. In essence, I’m glad I’m at this program in particular at exactly this point in my writerly development.

My advice to applicants who will ultimately apply to programs multiple times: lean into the continued resistance; use it as a means of sanding down your intentions and aspirations as a writer, such that, once you’re given an opportunity, you might come at it with a self assured sense of who you are as an artist, backed by the kind of momentum that only builds over time.

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